Letting Go
Every time the Fall season comes around I am reminded of the necessary practice to regularly examine what is not serving you in your life and to let those things go. Many of us are burdened, or weighed down, by things we are carrying that are not ours to carry or that we no longer need to hold on to. For example, things we need to accept rather than try to control, relationships that are hurting us, unhealthy ways we are trying to cope, and so on. If you have never examined your life to see what would be beneficial for you to let go of, here is a list to spark some ideas. This list is by no means exhaustive, but may serve as a good place to start as you dabble in the practice of letting go.
Holding on to material things or having excess stuff
Having too high of expectations of others
Trying to control others or outcomes that are out of your control
Holding grudges
Needing external validation to know your worth
Allowing others to mistreat you
Using avoidance, distraction, or escaping to cope
Ruminating in the past, worrying about the future, or both
Taking things personally
People pleasing or not being able to say no
Being self-critical or comparing yourself to others
Allowing fear, guilt, or shame to rule you
Gossiping and judging others
Neglecting your physical health
Taking on other people’s problems as your own
Avoiding difficult conversations
Being stuck in a victim-mentality where everything bad in your life is someone else’s fault
Self-sabotaging
Trying the same things over and over again and expecting different results
The belief that you will never be able to create the life you want
What have you been holding on to this year that is not yours to carry or no longer serves you?
How to let go:
Take accountability for your role.
Acknowledge how it used to serve, protect, or help you navigate your life.
Identify what you can learn from it to make meaning of it.
Forgive yourself and other people involved.
Accept what you can’t change about it and identify what is within your control to change.
Make space for something new that does serve what you need right now.
Practice radical acceptance.
Try inner child/shadow work/parts work.
Seek help for what seems out of your comfort zone to let go of on your own.
This list does not need to be done in order. Even doing just one of these methods for letting go will help the thing you are trying to create space from in your life feel less powerful over you. This is totally possible to do on your own with time and intention, but with the help of a professional you can get farther in your desired change, faster and with more confidence. There is no one reason to go to therapy. It is something we all need and benefit from. If you feel resistant to seeking help, ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What is stopping me from moving forward? Chances are you may not be ready to actually work towards the desired changes or walk away from how you’ve been navigating your life up to this point. Change is hard. That realization alone is reason enough to get help with your process of letting go. You do not need to do it alone. I have all the faith in your ability to make the changes you want. I am here to help. All you have to do is get out of your own way and reach out.
Take care, Cycle Breakers!
Alyssa
